Tag Archives: life

Fear Not

Fear not, Blogosphere.

While Off the Front has appeared to be off the back during the past few months, the brain itself has not been. The effort and drive has in fact intensified and sharpened; the direction has been different, however.  As my mini marble click-clacks around the contents of my head, ideas and words start to spew forth at once, alas clogging and clotting before reaching this medium.

fear Not, Blogosphere. 

Words have been put to paper (So to speak), even if said paper has been visible to very few eyes. Stay tuned. Something amazing is beginning to rise on the horizon, something that I truly feel can change the way people look at cycling, blogs, and training altogether.  With a bucket full of hope and legs drowned in miles, I cross my fingers and hope that you all will agree.

Fear NOT…

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The Life of An Amateur Racer

Train, get ready, get nervous, pack, sleep….

Awake, get excited, get nervous, drive…

Warm up, get excited, get nervous, race…

Suffer, sprint, feel good, feel proud…

Pack up, drive, feel proud, dissect performance, critque…

Feel like you could have done more, feel bad, feel tired, sleep…

Awake, check results, check for pictures…

Repeat ad infinitum.

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The Honest Truth

The blog has been pretty silent this past week, though not for lack of topics (A nugget starts growing in my mind almost everyday). In reality, I have felt a little disconnected from my steeds. As much as it may seem like I have a never ending river of love for all things bicycle running through my veins, the Honest Truth is that I often… Hate it.

It comes and it goes from time to time; often it is fleeting, though sometimes it is a long and drawn out period of utter disgust. This is not a euphemism for something suffering related, or some grand scheme of motivation, where I’ll turn all the negativity upside down in the last paragraph. It is plainly true and, I think, every racer suffers (no pun intended) from the same thoughts from time to time.

I hate riding in 40mph crosswinds because I am ‘scheduled’ to. I hate that a single goat’s head or touch of the wheels can displace months and months of hard work. I hate that cycling complicates seemingly mundane questions like: “What are we doing this weekend?” and “Will you be home for dinner?”

I hate dragging a carload of groceries up three flights of stairs after three hours on the trainer and a nine-hour workday. I hate never having money to do much of anything other than racing. I hate that I am so mental that I have to buy every damn Hammer supplement out there just to placate my thoughts of ‘missing something.’

I hate defining my life at the lowest possible point in the sport. I hate constantly greasing the wheels of 30 odd people that are doing the same under my watch. I hate not having time to get a second job and break free of paycheck to paycheck. I hate getting up predawn on Saturday and Sunday to ride more than some do in a week.

I hate cold feet 3 miles into a six-hour day. I hate getting dropped by juniors. I hate that my place in cycling, on and off the bike, has added to an otherwise hefty stress load. I hate that ideals about cycling create riffs. I hate that I have lost contact with a lot of people, mainly because I don’t see them on training rides or at races every week.

Perhaps most notably, I hate that cycling makes me hate it. After all, it has done tremendous things for my health, wellbeing, social life, motivation, and a slew of other things that I probably don’t even realize. I should be entirely thankful, nay entirely faithful, to the sport. Alas, I am an ungrateful Lover.

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